Så endte jeg med en indlæggelse søndag aften/nat. Jeg havde ringet til akut teamet og spurgt, om jeg måtte komme. Det måtte jeg gerne. Da jeg kom frem og vi havde snakket, så blev vi enige om at en indlæggelse vidst var bedre, så jeg skulle videre hen til vagtlægen, for at se hvad der blev sagt der. Var sikker på en blank afvisning ligesom sidste gang. Men denne gang blev jeg lyttet til og hun så min selv skade. Og så ringede hun til psykiatrisk afdeling, for at hører af om jeg kunne komme. Og denne gang var det ikke en afvisning. Jeg kom op på 3. etage – modtagelsen omkring klokken 22.30. Klokken 02 fik jeg mit sengetøj. Skulle overnatte i modtagelses værelset. Omkring klokken 2.45 gik alarmen og jeg fik noget af et chok. Jeg havde aldrig hørt alarmen før. Og så fandt jeg ud af at det desværre var det rum jeg skulle sove i, hvor de skulle ind og slukke alarmen, hvilket betød de skulle tænde lyset. Men jeg var jo heldigvis vågen, så det gjorde ikke så meget, men frygtede hvis alarmen gik efter jeg faldt i søvn. Heldigvis var det ikke tilfældet. Og jeg fik et par timers søvn.

Da jeg snakkede med lægen ville han egentlig udskrive mig, men skulle snakke med en ældre kollega. Og jeg fik så lov til, at blive en enkelt overnatning ovre på affektive lidelser senge afsnittet. Og det er så blevet i dag, hvor han egentlig mente jeg skulle udskrives, men hans kollega herovre er tilsyneladende ikke enig, for jeg er ikke blevet udskrevet endnu. Og der var heller ingen snak om dette. Der var snak om, at jeg skulle øges i min anti depressive medicin. Så lige nu venter jeg på, om hvad de bliver enige om. Der var også snak om, at daghospitalet desværre ikke umiddelbart kan lave den udredning, der skal til. Så jeg skal sandsynligvis udredes på cvu. Men nu må vi se. Det var der nemlig også snak om sidste gang, men det skete ikke.

Jeg har det ret svært med at være indlagt på samme afdeling igen, mest af alt fordi noget af det personale, som jeg følte jeg havde en god tilknytning til sidst, og som jeg åbnede mig op for mig har valgt praktisk talt at ignorer mig totalt. Jeg har ikke engang kunne få et hej til trods for jeg sagde hej. Jeg føler sq at de har et eller andet irritations moment over, at jeg er tilbage. Men det gør ondt, at man sidste gang kunne bruge dem så meget og virkelig åbne op for dem og at man så denne gang bare er luft. Og specielt, når jeg kan se andre tidligere patienter sagtens kan både snakke med dem og have dem som kontakt person den pågældende dag, hvor de er på arbejde. Jeg har indtil nu kun haft nye mennesker. Nogle som ikke har kendskab til mig ud over det, som de kan læse i mine papir. Og det giver jo ikke et reelt billede af hvem jeg egentlig er. Det gør mig ked af det. Og jeg bliver faktisk også ret frustreret over denne ligegyldighed over for mig, som jeg føler.

Jeg har lyst til selv skade heldigvis har jeg intet at gøre det med. Har dog forsøgt med en hårnål, ja det viser hvor desperat jeg er. Jeg ærgre mig over, at min pokkers ærlighed står i vejen for, at jeg kunne have haft en kniv, så jeg rent faktisk kunne få denne smerte som jeg føler indeni ud. Jeg er desperat. Overvejer at hente en kniv fra køkkenet af. Desværre er det almindeligt bestik, så den skærer ikke rigtigt, men den kan selvfølgelig give mig den smerte, som jeg føler jeg fortjener.

Ahhhh…. Giv mig et eller andet så jeg kan få denne forfærdelige smerte ud. Giv mig nu bare den pokkers kniv eller det barberblad, så jeg kan få lov til at smerte mig selv. Så jeg kan mærke smerten udenpå og ikke kun indeni.

27 meninger om “Indlagt”

  1. My husband and i have been now contented when Michael could round up his inquiry out of the ideas he made when using the web site. It is now and again perplexing to just happen to be releasing things which usually the others may have been selling. So we realize we have you to be grateful to for that. All of the illustrations you have made, the easy website navigation, the friendships you make it easier to foster – it is everything superb, and it’s making our son in addition to our family recognize that this subject is thrilling, and that’s highly indispensable. Many thanks for everything!

  2. This is the proper weblog for anybody who needs to find out about this topic. You understand so much its virtually onerous to argue with you (not that I actually would want…HaHa). You positively put a brand new spin on a topic thats been written about for years. Nice stuff, simply nice!

  3. Yesterday, while I was at work, my cousin stole my apple ipad and tested to see if it can survive a 30 foot drop, just so she can be a youtube sensation. My apple ipad is now broken and she has 83 views. I know this is completely off topic but I had to share it with someone!|

  4. I’m more than happy to uncover this site. I want to to thank you for your time just for this wonderful read!! I definitely liked every bit of it and i also have you saved to fav to check out new stuff on your website.|

  5. Thank you for the good writeup. It in fact was a amusement account it. Look advanced to more added agreeable from you! By the way, how can we communicate?|

  6. I’d like to thank you for the efforts you’ve put in penning this website. I am hoping to check out the same high-grade blog posts from you in the future as well. In fact, your creative writing abilities has motivated me to get my own, personal site now ;)|

  7. May I simply say what a relief to find a person that genuinely understands what they’re discussing on the net. You certainly know how to bring a problem to light and make it important. A lot more people have to read this and understand this side of the story. I can’t believe you are not more popular since you most certainly possess the gift.|

  8. Right now it appears like BlogEngine is the preferred blogging platform available right now. (from what I’ve read) Is that what you are using on your blog?|

  9. I have to point out my appreciation for your generosity giving support to folks who absolutely need help on your matter. Your very own commitment to getting the solution along had become surprisingly practical and have all the time permitted associates much like me to achieve their dreams. Your personal informative publication can mean a whole lot a person like me and substantially more to my colleagues. Best wishes; from everyone of us.

  10. You could definitely see your enthusiasm in the work you write. The world hopes for more passionate writers like you who aren’t afraid to say how they believe. Always go after your heart.

  11. Thank you a lot for giving everyone a very brilliant opportunity to discover important secrets from this web site. It is always so fantastic and also packed with a lot of fun for me personally and my office co-workers to search your web site nearly 3 times in 7 days to learn the newest guidance you have got. And definitely, I’m just usually happy considering the fabulous knowledge served by you. Certain 1 facts on this page are indeed the best we have had.

  12. I truly wanted to type a small comment in order to appreciate you for all the fabulous ways you are giving out at this site. My extended internet search has at the end of the day been honored with awesome facts and strategies to write about with my good friends. I ‘d mention that we visitors are undoubtedly fortunate to dwell in a magnificent site with many outstanding people with interesting principles. I feel truly blessed to have seen your entire website page and look forward to so many more enjoyable times reading here. Thank you once again for a lot of things.

  13. I enjoy you because of all of the labor on this website. My niece really likes carrying out investigation and it is easy to understand why. Most people learn all of the lively form you create great things via the website and therefore encourage contribution from people on the article while our child is now becoming educated a whole lot. Enjoy the remaining portion of the new year. You are performing a terrific job.

  14. Thank you a lot for providing individuals with remarkably marvellous chance to read from this web site. It really is so sweet and full of fun for me personally and my office peers to search your blog on the least three times in 7 days to read the new guides you have got. Not to mention, I am also usually contented considering the beautiful tips you serve. Selected 2 areas in this article are in fact the simplest I’ve ever had.

  15. I and also my friends were found to be reading through the good techniques located on the blog while all of a sudden got an awful suspicion I had not thanked the blog owner for those strategies. All of the guys are actually certainly happy to read all of them and have in effect without a doubt been taking pleasure in those things. We appreciate you simply being well kind and for considering variety of extraordinary issues millions of individuals are really eager to discover. Our sincere apologies for not expressing gratitude to you earlier.

  16. I’m also commenting to let you know what a useful discovery my wife’s girl went through viewing your web page. She figured out so many issues, which include what it is like to have a marvelous coaching heart to let other individuals with ease have an understanding of a variety of impossible matters. You actually did more than people’s expected results. Thanks for giving such useful, healthy, edifying as well as easy thoughts on your topic to Kate.

  17. I needed to put you this very little note to help thank you as before relating to the remarkable things you’ve discussed here. It was simply surprisingly generous of people like you to make without restraint just what a number of people could possibly have advertised for an e-book to generate some dough for themselves, precisely since you might have done it in case you desired. Those advice additionally served to be the great way to fully grasp other people online have the identical passion really like my very own to grasp good deal more with reference to this problem. I think there are numerous more pleasurable times in the future for many who go through your site.

  18. Hi, just required you to know I he added your site to my Google bookmarks due to your layout. But seriously, I believe your internet site has 1 in the freshest theme I??ve came across. It extremely helps make reading your blog significantly easier.

  19. I definitely wanted to develop a simple note to say thanks to you for the nice secrets you are giving out at this site. My long internet investigation has finally been compensated with good quality ideas to go over with my friends. I would point out that we site visitors are undeniably lucky to exist in a wonderful place with so many special professionals with helpful tricks. I feel pretty lucky to have discovered your entire website and look forward to tons of more awesome times reading here. Thanks a lot once again for everything.

  20. Needed to send you that little bit of remark to help say thanks a lot as before on the splendid opinions you’ve discussed on this page. It’s simply pretty generous of you to convey unreservedly exactly what most people might have supplied for an ebook to end up making some bucks for themselves, even more so considering the fact that you might have tried it if you ever considered necessary. These principles additionally served as a great way to be aware that many people have a similar keenness much like mine to learn lots more with respect to this problem. Certainly there are numerous more enjoyable instances in the future for people who discover your website.

  21. My husband and i felt so joyous Peter managed to carry out his reports using the precious recommendations he grabbed from your own web site. It is now and again perplexing to just be handing out tricks many others have been trying to sell. So we take into account we now have the blog owner to appreciate for that. The type of explanations you’ve made, the simple web site menu, the relationships you will make it easier to foster – it’s everything terrific, and it’s leading our son in addition to our family consider that the theme is fun, which is exceedingly vital. Many thanks for the whole thing!

  22. I simply desired to say thanks once again. I do not know the things that I would’ve worked on without the type of ways discussed by you concerning that theme. It has been an absolute frightening difficulty in my opinion, however , noticing your professional form you treated it made me to leap with delight. Now i am grateful for the advice and as well , wish you really know what an amazing job you are putting in teaching the others all through a web site. I am sure you’ve never encountered any of us.

  23. I actually wanted to type a brief message so as to appreciate you for those marvelous concepts you are sharing at this site. My extensive internet research has finally been rewarded with reasonable facts and strategies to write about with my neighbours. I ‘d express that we website visitors actually are very much lucky to exist in a magnificent website with so many perfect professionals with very beneficial methods. I feel pretty fortunate to have come across your website and look forward to tons of more pleasurable minutes reading here. Thanks again for all the details.

Skriv et svar

Din e-mailadresse vil ikke blive publiceret. Krævede felter er markeret med *