Føler jeg svigtede i dag

Jeg føler jeg har svigtet mine børn i dag, fordi jeg har meldt fra. Jeg har været syg de sidste par dage og har derfor fået begrænset med søvn, så mit overskud var bare ikke til, at skulle være sammen med dem i dag.

Jeg kan mærke, hvor ked af det jeg faktisk bliver, da jeg jo virkelig gerne vil være sammen med dem. Og så har jeg skyldfølelse, for jeg har været på daghospitalet i dag, men der var jeg også lige ved at melde afbud. Jeg ved bare hvor meget det giver mig, at komme afsted og derfor aflyste jeg det ikke. Man kan jo undre sig over hvordan overskuddet til, at kunne tage på daghospitalet var der, men jeg skal gerne indrømme at overskuddet var der faktisk heller ikke og jeg var tæt på, at aflyse det. Men som skrevet, så ved jeg hvor meget det giver mig.

Jeg savner mine drenge, men ønsker ikke at smitte dem og lige så ønsker jeg heller ikke, at de skal være sammen med en mor, der godt kunne finde på at sove, være pirrelig eller lignende, fordi hun faktisk ikke magter deres tilstedeværelse. Det er hårdt at sige højt, men det havde været en realitet, hvis jeg havde været sammen med dem i dag.

32 meninger om “Føler jeg svigtede i dag”

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