Jeg er endelig begyndt på udredning. Dog har jeg fået aflyst tid pga. sygdom ved udredning. Og det er hvad der kan ske. Jeg har været til to samtaler og skal afsted igen i den kommende uge. Jeg får forhåbentlig også svar i løbet af den kommende uge, men nu må vi se om min udredning krævede endnu et møde.
Jeg er så spændt samt nervøs, for hvad testen viser. Mest af alt om det i virkeligheden “bare” er mit selvværd, der skaber alle mine problemer. Mange af de spørgsmål, som blev stillet omhandlede meget mit selvværd. Men om det hører til en personligheds forstyrrelse også, det finder jeg forhåbentlig snart ud af. Jeg har virkelig brug for at vide, om der reelt er noget galt med mig, så jeg kan få hjælp til at håndtere det. Og forhåbentlig blive en endnu bedre udgave af mig selv.
Jeg er så bange for, at en egentlig diagnose kommer til, at have betydning for mit samvær med mine drenge. Hvad så hvis jeg fejler noget, som gør jeg ikke kan håndtere at være sammen med dem. Ikke at jeg tror det kommer til, at være sådan for så havde det nok været sådan på forhånd. Men det er princippet i hvad en evt. diagnose kan gøre ved mit samvær med drengene.
Corona
Jeg håber I alle passer på hinanden i disse Corona – tider. Jeg prøver i hvert fald bedst muligt, at passe på andre og ikke mindst mig selv.
Jeg må ikke se mine børn og det tager hårdt på mig, men jeg ved de er i gode hænder og nok skal komme igennem dette, uden at se deres mor..
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